Sunday Scribblings - Mis-spent Youth?

~ written for Sunday Scribblings
Everyone says hindsight is 20/20, oh wait that is too cliché for an opening sentence. Well my youth was cliché so perhaps it works in it’s own way. I was angst ridden in my youth, not popular but not unpopular. While I may have been worrisome to my folks it was not what you think. Sure I may have frazzled them to death my endless questions and anxiety and need for reassurance – this lasted well into my 20’s and the anxiety part….well let’s just say we are still aquaintences.

I never had a curfew because I was never out late. I never really got grounded because well…I was never out late. I did have a “sassy mouth” on me and a persistent demand to get the last word in always. Drove my mother NUTS.

I didn’t drink at all until sometime around 17-18. Didn’t lost my virginity till I was 20. My biggest mis-spentness in my youth was my “sassy mouth” my insecurities, and my love of spending. I am still working on all three to some point I suppose, only now I prefer to call it dry wit or sarcasm.

I guess if you stretch “youth” into my twenties then there were plenty of mis-spent moments. Maybe I just came into pushing my boundaries, and whooping it up until then. Still what I consider my “wild days” were tame in comparison to most others I know. Still there are a few numbers I would like to turn back the clock and lower!

Am I the adult I thought I would be when I was a kid? In some ways…I am married and I have a dog. I fell short of being a pediatric oncologist or a Peter Jennings-esque journalist living in a huge loft in NYC, but that is OK with me. I am glad to not live in NYC. I don’t think I ever could have envisioned doing what I do for a living now simply because technology was not where it is at now.

Some things never change – I loved to read and write then and I still do now. I still like to shop and still manage my money with less finesse than I would like. I still and always will love; ice cream, pasta, risotto, cheese, pizza, my mom’s homemade sauce, and the ocean. My desires now are simpler though.

I can honestly say though that if I could turn back time there is only one thing I would change – and that stays with me.

Leaving Left and Accepting Right

~ written for Sunday Scribblings 11/9/2007 ~ check it out and come join!

It wasn't the first time in her life that she felt this way. Out of place, out of sorts, as if she was running out of auntenticity and time. She spent her entire life into her thirties trying to fit in, trying to be someone she thought she should be. The problem was the person that she was striving to be was fluid, never defined and therefore never achieveable.

There was no defining moment but at somepoint in the middle of her thirtieth decade she decidid that now would be a good time to start being authentic. To start listening to her heart instead of her silly head that was more concerned with fitting in, being liked and seeming accomplished than with being comfortable in her own skin and satisfying her spirit. Catching up to where others were no longer seemed important, she finally wanted to stop being concerned with if she was left out and instead recognize the happieness she had right where she was.

Don't forget to go check out the other Sunday Scribblers!